Anxiousness (Part 2)

I can relate to the many unknowns and imminent questions from Tara’s post as well.  But, my thoughts and questions are of a slightly different sort…will the economy in the US crash, or at least will it it affect our financial supporters to the extent where giving drops off substantially?  Will we then have to return to the States; I have a seminary degree but no real marketable skill, in a troubled economy would I be able to support my family?  How can we save a bit more money? Can we eak another year out of our computer? What do we need to live, what makes life a little better, and what can we go without?  The little that we have invested, is that gonna disappear!? What should I do, should I take all (what little there is) of our savings out of the stock market and put it into a cash account?  And what about our boy’s education funds that their great-grandmother started for them, will those disappear.  What to do!?…Will I have what it takes to be an overseas missionary? Will our team survive each other? Will my teammates find me too difficult to work with.  If we end up leaving the field at the end of three years, will that mean we’re failures, or will people see us as failures?  How can I communicate better with those back home, to our supporters, friends, and family?…I screamed at Malachi yesterday, what kind of example am I to him?  Am I modeling to him the kind of life, the kind of character, that God wants him to have?  Will Zeke ever let loose of his mother and embrace me fully, stop crying every time she leaves the house.  Is that some sort of sign that we’re just never gonna connect?  Am I doing something that is distancing him from me?…I need to exercise, how can I do that when just plain living life is so exhausting? I’m gaining weight, I’ve never been this heavy before!

To end I’ll just quote what Tara said, she said it just right…“The list goes on, but I’ll stop now.  I need to pray more, trust more,  and pray and pray and pray.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  Philippians 4:6  This is a constant prayer, when I start feeling anxious and ovewhelmed, with God’s strength I have to stop thinking about these things.  God will take care of every detail, but I have to constantly petition him.  Please join us in praying for the next five to six months of this unsettled, uncertain, and anxious time.”